Tuesday, June 21, 2011

There was no easy answer.

So in my last post I talked about my thoughts on dating. I am increasingly growing in my attraction girls. However, the growth is by no means what I would consider fast and I still have a ways to go. So, do I date do I not date. It has taken me a long time to get to my answer and the answer is yes and no. So here is how I got there. I was talking to my Therapist about it. One of my main concerns was, "How can I date when I still have unresolved issues?" He helped me to see that imperfect people date all the time. In fact, no one is perfect and thus imperfect people are always dating each other. Some have unresolved issues with trust or a variety of things but should they refrain from dating until everything is completely cleared up? This was in fact a good point. But I was still very concerned with the other person that is a stake, the girl. Is it fair to date her when I maybe wasting her time because I will not marry until my issues are largely resolved? Plus, she deserves to have someone who is truly attracted to her. So, this was the finally conclusion that I came up with. I am allowing myself to date BUT there are first some pre-qualifiers. I must be sincerely attracted to her and can honestly see myself committed to her for the rest of my life. Now even after that I know the relationship may simply not work out but I feel that it would not be fair to either of us if I didn't have the long term commit as a possibility and goal. So I enter a new world. I have always been friends with girls but never had a girlfriend. So many things seem so simple yet so hard. Example: the other day I got a girls phone number. It seems like a simple enough task but it took all the courage I could muster to do it. In the end it really wasn't that difficult but it just took that first little step of faith.